Who is the best match for INFP and ISFP? What is an INFP - ISFP relationship like? Are INFP and ISFP compatible? Here, we take an in-depth look at the personality dynamics through the lens of one couple’s love story.

Boo Love Stories is a series that highlights relationship dynamics between personality types. We hope others’ experiences can help you to navigate your own relationships and journey in finding love.

This story is from Curtis, a 25-year old INFP, & Gabrielle, a 23-year old ISFP. Read on to find out more!

Their Story: The Peacemaker (INFP) x The Artist (ISFP)

Derek: Hi Curtis and Gabrielle! Thanks for sharing your story with us today. How long have you guys been together?

Curtis (INFP): We’ve been together since, officially, since July 2020. So, about half a year now. Hasn’t been too long.

Derek: How long were you dating beforehand?

Curtis (INFP): We started seeing each other, probably around April, but because of COVID-19, we didn’t get to do much.

Gabrielle (ISFP): That’s about right

Derek: How did you both meet?

Gabrielle (ISFP): We met through a friend. A couple of years ago, that friend called me out to meet out on Memorial Day and Curtis happened to be there as well. However, we didn’t interact.

Curtis (INFP): We didn’t talk to each other, but I guess that's when we first knew about each other's existence.

The Dating Phase: Who Made the First Move?

Curtis (INFP): She made the first move. Around February, I got a cat and posted a picture on Instagram. She sent me a direct message (DM) saying how cute my cat was and from there we started talking more frequently.

Gabrielle (ISFP): It was solely because his cat was really pretty.

Derek: So, you weren’t sure if you were into him necessarily, but you just thought his cat was very pretty and decided to reach out first?

Gabrielle (ISFP): Yeah, that was pretty much it.

Derek: How did it go from talking about cats to seeing each other?

Curtis (INFP): Originally, over Instagram, we were talking about my cat, but eventually it led to us talking about ourselves and our interests. We noticed that we had common interests and although we both had no intention of getting into a relationship, one thing led to another, and we decided to meet up in person one day. We live an hour and a half from each other, so I drove out to see her.

Gabrielle (ISFP): I’m in New York, but he’s in Connecticut.

Curtis (INFP): We started seeing each other, but neither of us would take the extra step to initiate the relationship. It was very clear that we both liked each other because we talked literally every single day through text. The intentions were there, but we were both hesitant to make the next move due to COVID-19, the distance, and because we originally said we weren’t looking to be in a relationship. However, here we are now, interested in each other. Eventually, she asked me out.

Derek: Being an introvert, was it difficult making the first move?

Gabrielle (ISFP): It was really difficult because I wasn’t sure if he had the same feelings for me. Since I had the thought of dating him, I thought about asking him out almost every day. There was a situation that he was involved in that made me ask him out in the end. It was mostly because I was jealous and angry that he was meeting up with friends from NY, and he would tell me about it. I got jealous because I wished that I was there. It didn’t help that his NY friends are also my friends. I realized that my reason for getting angry and jealous was a pretty good indicator of just how interested in him I was and how much I cared for him. It was then, that I really knew my feelings for him. However, it felt wrong for me to get mad or say anything about the situation and how I felt about it- because I wasn’t in a position to say anything. I got frustrated at the end and thought that if I’m going to get mad at him, why not get mad at him as his girlfriend. That would give me a good enough reason to get mad at him. So let me just ask him out. And that’s what happened.

Derek: Before you guys met each other, did you guys typically have a type that you would date?

Curtis (INFP): Nothing specific, but I did lean more towards meeting introverts compared to extroverts. Extroverts can be a little draining for me. I know that if I hang out with an extrovert, whether it’s a girlfriend or a friend, I know that I would get exhausted. With introverts, it felt like we at least had common ground. Typically, we’d rather be in indoors or a small social setting, and just from that thought alone, I feel less exhausted. So, I tended to go for introverts.

Derek: How about you Gabrielle?

Gabrielle (ISFP): Same as Curtis, I used to go for introverts. Most of my friends are extroverts, but they know how to deal with my introverted qualities. It’s different being with friends than being with your boyfriend. So, that’s why I think I was steering more towards meeting introverts because I wanted to be less exhausted.

Derek: In the past have you dated more extroverts or introverts?

Curtis (INFP): It was about 50/50 and that’s when I learned that extroverts and introverts were a thing. I realized that I definitely can’t date extroverts anymore because I experienced how draining it was for me.

Gabrielle (ISFP): I think I dated introverts more.

Curtis (INFP): I got a lot of things, but one would be is that she’s very resilient. She doesn’t give up. I’m the type to give up easily, but every time I want to give up and she doesn’t want to, that is more than enough of a reason for me to keep trying. Whether it be about the relationship or things in general. For our relationship specifically, we are still in the beginning phase of our relationship, but there were a few times that I wanted to call it off. However, she was adamant about trying and that left a deep impression on me. I could see how she really wanted to try to keep this going and that made me want to try harder and see where this could go.

Derek: Was there a reason you wanted to call it off?

Curtis (INFP): The reason why I wanted to call it off was that the distance between us was making things difficult. Even if it's only an hour and a half, she doesn’t drive right now, so it was always me going to see her. I felt frustrated about the situation and thought that I couldn’t do this, but we somehow managed to talk it over. Now every time we do have problems, we talk it over and 99% of the time, the problems are solved and it doesn’t come back up again. We’re not perfect, so we’re going to have arguments. At the beginning of our relationship, our arguments got very heated.

Derek: What are the arguments typically about?

Curtis (INFP): It was minor things, nothing specific. It’s to the point that I don’t remember what they were about, it's that trivial. It's one of those arguments that are so small and pointless that when you look back on it, you know that it wasn’t even worth arguing about. The good part is that they never come back up. As in, we solved it and are not just ignoring it.

Derek: Gabrielle, what would you say that you like the most about Curtis?

Gabrielle (ISFP): For me, it’s that his thoughts and mindset is very innocent in a way. Which is the opposite of how I tend to think.

Derek: How do you think?

Gabrielle (ISFP): I’m more of a realist, but he’s not.

Derek: That’s actually quite common. INFPs are one of the most innocent and childlike personality types out there and ISFPs are very practical. So, what you’re describing is definitely very common of what you would expect from this relationship dynamic.

Curtis (INFP): Yeah, that's me.

Gabrielle (ISFP): Even when I was talking to him just as a friend, I could tell that he was very different from who I was, and due to my curious nature, I wanted to talk to him and get to know him more. Even now, when I talk to him about something, he has a completely different opinion and that intrigues me. He’s just a very unique person to me and I think that’s what I really like about him.

Derek: What do you guys love most about being with each other?

Curtis (INFP): In the beginning, as I said, we were hesitant about going into a relationship. Personally, I liked to be alone. Nowadays, I don’t want to be alone. I truly enjoy her presence. Even though we don’t see each other often, just knowing that someone’s got my back at all times now and makes me feel a lot at ease. The fact that I don’t have to go through life alone is reassuring. I know that my family has my back, but this feels different from that. Now, I have someone who I can call a friend, a best friend, to walk with me.

Derek: What do you think made you change your perspective about that?

Curtis (INFP): There are days, where I do enjoy being alone. I don’t know for sure, but it was not a situation where I woke up one day and realized I felt different. Over time, I saw what she was working on in my life, and eventually, it led to the point that I enjoy and appreciate her presence and I want her to continue to be a part of my life.

Derek: I see, so it was a lot about companionship and enjoying each other's presence and company.

Gabrielle (ISFP): For me, I just feel comfortable even in silence with him. I feel as introverts, surrounded by extroverted friends, we can come off as boring if we don’t talk to them as much.

With Curtis though, even if we are both quiet and doing our separate things, I feel comfortable. I don’t have to worry about anything; he’s my comfort zone.

The Ups and Downs: What Is the Most Challenging Aspect of Your Relationship?

Curtis (INFP): When the arguing comes in, as she said, she is a realist and I have a more innocent kind of mindset. So, when we do talk about something serious, our opinions, a lot of times, are polar opposites. We are understanding of each other and the fact that we are different, but there are cases where we end up agreeing to disagree. I think that’s one of the bigger challenges, because I know we can understand each other, but at the end of the day, we are going to have a completely different mindset about certain things.

Gabrielle (ISFP): Mine would be that he sometimes gives up a little too easily. He just gives up and doesn’t tell me about his deep thoughts about it and why he decided to stop. Basically, he isn’t too forward with his emotions about it. There are times where I have to push him hard so that he will let me in. He has been working on it, and he started to be more open towards me. Nowadays, out of the blue, which is completely fine, he will just tell me with whatever he is struggling with. However, it was hard in the beginning because I didn’t want to constantly push him into telling me about his struggles and why he wants to give up.

Derek: I don’t think you’re alone. INFPs can be known to be in their own inner world so to speak, it's very common for people that share your personality type, Curtis, to have similar issues. It is a show of maturity that you’re actively working on this.

Better Together: How Have You Grown by Being with Each Other?

Curtis (INFP): Oh, I’ve definitely grown. It all comes down to my childish mindset. She really put me back on earth, I guess. She rooted my mindset on how I should think on some topics. She helped me mature. When you’re 25, you think you’re mature, but she made me realize that I’m not at all. She led a different life than me growing up. For example, I was spoiled growing up. I had everything I wanted from my parents, but she had to work for everything by herself. She made me open up my eyes to what life really is supposed to be like and what it entails. Because, realistically, you can’t be spoiled your entire life. So, that was one of the things she helped me grow out of. Another thing is the giving up too easily aspect of myself. Even now, I want to give up on a lot of things, just because, I like giving up. But she’s really making me change my views on that. For me, when I want to give up, I want to give up completely, but she makes me see that there are things I can try differently before trying to quit or taking what I learned and trying something new with my knowledge. I guess you could say that she’s helping me not look at things too negatively in my life.

Derek: That’s amazing. I mean it sounds like you’ve grown a lot. Again, it’s very common for INFPs to feel like they are more immature and that they need to mature and come back down to earth. It’s great that you can help each other with that.

Gabrielle (ISFP): I have gotten more patient with a lot of things ever since I’ve been with Curtis. I used to have no patience, with friends, family, or just things in general. With Curtis, I had to really learn to be patient in order to understand him. This part doesn’t have to do with maturity, but he has given a lot of meaning to my life I guess. Because of his innocent mindset, he helped me see things in color and not just black and white.

Derek: That’s really deep. In the Myers Briggs personality type system, the only letters in which you differ is that Curtis is an Intuitive type and you are a Sensing type, which is precisely the difference that you described. The Sensor is more realistic, grounded, and practical whereas the Intuitive is more abstract, more reading in between the lines of things, so it’s interesting that you describe your growth in that sense, in precisely how you two are different.

Closing Remarks and Advice from Boo

On Boo, the INFP - ISFP relationship pairing is recommended as one that we believe has potential. We often only hear about stories like INFP - ENFJ or ISFP - ESFJ pairings, but the reality is people fall in love with personality types outside of these “golden pairings” as well. Compatibility is a spectrum of differing relationship dynamics and flavors, from more similar to more different, each with its own set of pros and cons. Two personalities can be compatible and make a relationship work if they are willing to understand, appreciate, and respect each other’s differences.

If you’re new to understanding MBTI compatibility and looking for an ultimate guide, you can read about Boo’s algorithm. And if you have any lingering doubts about the MBTI, you can read Why the MBTI is unfairly criticized. It’s time to finally end the debate.

We wish Curtis and Gabrielle a wonderful and lasting relationship together. If you’re in a relationship and would like to share your love story, send us an email at hello@boo.world. If you’re single, you can download Boo for free and embark now on your own love journey.

Curious about other love stories? You can check out these interviews as well! ENTJ - INFP Love Story // ISFJ - INFP Love Story // ENFJ - ISTJ Love Story // INFJ - ISTP Love Story // ENFP - INFJ Love Story // ESFJ - ESFJ Love Story // ENFJ - INFP Love Story // ENFJ - ENTJ Love Story // ENTP - INFJ Love Story